Question 1

What if I am not religious but want spiritual accompaniment?

Accepted Answer

You are welcome into spiritual companionship! No spiritual director or companion worthy of the title will  push you to affiliate with any particular religious tradition. Spiritual accompaniment is  about listening to your sacred story, not pushing you one way or another towards our own. If you find yourself in direction with someone who is judgmental or pushy, get out immediately. Spiritual accompaniment is about freedom of being, not conformity. In addition, if God-language or religious terminology turns you off,  tell your spiritual companion  - they will do their best to use language that fits your experience.

Question 2

What can I expect in my session?

Accepted Answer

Your spiritual accompaniment session maybe one or a series of conversations aimed at helping you listen for the movement and of God (Your Higher Poweror Divine Love... for brevity I will use the term God) in your life.  As spiritual companions we receive special training in the art of listening, we work to use excellent communication skills with those we sit with. We have worked and continue to develop deep understanding of the many of the ways God has communicated with people (and people with God) throughout history.  This work includes knowledge of Holy Scriptures, of church and history along with and the wisdom of mystics, of spirituality and psychology. This deepening understanding of our relationship with the Divine also includes studies of world religions and various traditions and cultures creating a diverse picture of God's work in humanity.

Question 3

So what exactly happens when we meet?

Accepted Answer

Depending on what is comfortable for you (the direct/seeker/explorer/client I will use these interchangeably but am most comfortable with explorer), we will begin the most meetings by lighting a candle to mark our sacred space. This is acknowledgement that our conversation is not merely a casual chat between friends but a sacred moment of sharing and discovery that is marked by the presence of the Divine Love and our special intention to draw closer and experience more. We may begin the meeting with a few minutes of silence, a brief prayer,  poem or quotation. We then sit in silence until the you feel prepared to begin sharing what is on your heart or mind. Sometimes I may begin with a simple question or prompt. As you share, I will be listening, and from time to time ask questions or perhaps make observations. As a Spiritual Companion I work to pace the meeting and keep track of time, I will work to create space around anything in the sharing that seems to be tapping into that loving connection with the Sacred. I will validate and encourage, but will never rebuke, or command, to do so would be a strict violation of our code of ethics.  Based on ones’ sharing, or any requests I may make suggestions about spiritual practices or experiences that the directee may want to explore.

Question 4

What do I do in my session?

Accepted Answer

In  session the explorer shares about their experiences, life and/or relationship with God (as much or as little as they feel safe to share). Because we believe that we are all spiritual beings anything that is in the realm of life is appropriate to discuss. Divine Love is at work in everything! 💜

Question 5

How is this different from Counseling or Therapy?

Accepted Answer

Imagine Life Experience as a Cave. If we want to get out of the cave we call a counselor, if we want to explore the cave with a flashlight and go deeper into discovery and knowing, we call a Spiritual Companion.

Spiritual accompaniment differs from counseling primarily in its focus: the intention in spiritual direction is not to  solve a problem, rather to look for Divine activity within any problems and life experiences.

Counseling is primarily concerned with relationship dynamics and problem solving. We go to counseling to learn coping skills to help with anxiety or to facilitate cognitive changes in behavior. Spiritual accompaniment also focuses on relational dynamics, but it's primary relationship concern is that with Divine Love (God or your Higher Power). Spiritual accompaniment is about growing in your inner life and spirituality. We often encounter God in our problems and this can allow pain to be resolved.

Accompaniment is not meant to replace other helping disciplines such as pastoral care or psychological counseling, therapy or mentoring. Spiritual accompaniment is also not for discipleship or proselytizing (converting).  Spiritual companionship invites you into deeper relationship with Divine Love in the midst of whatever you are experiencing not exclusively in a religious setting. It is designed to compliment rather than compete with these other vital forms of self care.

If you are  currently in therapy both the therapist and the spiritual companion should be made aware so that they can collaborate in their care.

Question 6

How often do we meet?

Accepted Answer

Typically, spiritual companionship sessions are monthly. This frequency may be tailored to individual needs and schedules. The time between sessions is where growth and movement occur and so most sessions are held at a minimum of 3-4 weeks apart (monthly).

Question 7

What if I want to be in spiritual accompaniment, but I’m not sure you’re the person for me?

Accepted Answer

That's not a problem! No one spiritual companion is perfect for everyone. You may want a spiritual companion of the same gender, or a person from  a certain spiritual or religious tradition. You may prefer  a spiritual companion who also has pastoral counseling training or who is also a licensed therapist. There are lots of different spiritual companions out there. I encourage you to meet with several before choosing one. Check out the Spiritual Directors International website for starters. Remember, many spiritual directors do work by phone or zoom so there are many possibilities!

What is Spiritual Accompaniment?

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